it's monday night!
we see him every week
hosting desperate women
seeking roses
while we're just desperate for retweets.
come on chris harrison
make our dreams come true
come on out to nashville,
and have a drink or two (with us)

chris harrison: drama king
he's in the middle of the tears
and emotional roses
and elusive wedding rings.
but the thing we love most
about our favorite host
is the way he maintains class.
it isn't easy being hounded by the tabloids
but we imagine him kicking paparazzi ass.

he's always on the cusp
of the hottest fashion trends
and when he stands next to any other guys
he makes them look like lesser men
so come stand next to us!
make us look like lesser men
the humiliation would be worth it
if the three of us were friends (in real life)

you gotta follow him on twitter
he's really good at retweets,
and we can't picture him
not saying hi to every single fan he meets.
He'd probably sign a photograph
for a couple of his biggest fans
But he really ought to fly to LA,
and work with I Believe in Hotpants.